Bonnie and I’ve been together for about 10 years — with our ninth wedding anniversary coming up next month. We knew each other, more or less, for about five years before that in that we both belonged to the same square dance club. Bonnie would come with her husband Fred and I would be there with Shirley. There were about 100 “regulars” and we all knew each other. Each “square” consisted of eight dancers who would dance together for about five minutes, and then the squares would get shuffled and you’d dance with another group of dancers. While I thought Bonnie was a nice lady, I had no thoughts of us ever hooking up together. We were both married and I thought Shirley and I would be together so long as we both lived.
Fred, Bonnie’s husband of 47 years, died from cancer in early 2012, and Shirley shocked me in late 2012, saying her lung health precluded her from living with anybody who was ever around smokers. Without going through all of the details, she moved to California, I stayed in Vegas, we separated our assets and filed for divorce. It 100% was not what I had planned nor what I wanted, but this was the situation I was in.
After sitting at home feeling sorry for myself for a few months, eventually I started going out. The square dance club was a comfortable place. Everybody knew both Shirley and me, didn’t take sides, and were relatively sensitive to the struggles I was going though. For quite some time, I danced with several of the ladies, including many with regular partners who would dance with me once or twice each night. Bonnie was one of many I danced with. I basically could dance as often as I wanted — no strings attached.
Time heals all wounds, they say, and over time I began to be myself again. They were starting an “advanced” square dance class and independently Bonnie and I each decided to take it. There were relatively few single dancers in the class, and in my opinion Bonnie was by far the most attractive single lady there. I wasn’t ready for dating yet, nor was she, but I convinced her that a “dance partners only” relationship for a while was a good idea. Eventually, of course, it turned into more.
It was well known in the club that I was a gambler and video poker teacher. Each time a new series of classes started, I’d announce it at the club and probably 40 of the club dancers attended one or more classes through the years. Bonnie liked gambling, but she was very frugal. She would limit her gambling trips to once a month with friends, and her gambling budget was $3 a night. She never won.
While I did hope to find one special lady, I wasn’t in a big hurry. I had a “list” of what I definitely wanted and what I definitely wanted to avoid and high on that list was financial responsibility. Even after Shirley and I split what our accumulated wealth, I still had a fairly sizeable bankroll and was not interested in any woman with serious financial problems. I didn’t need for a woman to be wealthy. I could afford a wife. I just didn’t want someone who was broke and likely to go through whatever assets I had. A lady who always lost at gambling would be automatically disqualified from my search.
Unless it was only $3 per month.
